Reach1 Podcast
The Reach1 Podcast exists to ignite a generation with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Hosted by Markus & Chelsea McFolling, each episode is raw, real, and rooted in truth that’s designed to empower listeners to live unashamed, lead with boldness, and carry the message of hope into their world.
From powerful conversations with leaders and creatives, to stories of transformation and revival, the Reach1 Podcast is more than a show, it’s a movement. Whether you’re a student, leader, or everyday believer, you’ll find encouragement, practical wisdom, and the challenge to reach just one more.
Listen weekly. Be transformed. Join the movement.
Reach1 Podcast
Episode 1: From Rock Bottom to Redemption
Markus and Chelsea share their powerful journey from addiction to redemption, illustrating how God transformed their marriage after facing the darkest seasons of their lives.
• Markus grew up without a father in a chaotic California home where football became his identity and escape
• Chelsea was raised in a structured Christian home with perfectionism deeply ingrained in her worldview
• A career-ending shoulder injury led Markus into prescription painkiller addiction that nearly destroyed their marriage
• Chelsea faced life-threatening hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy while unaware of the extent of Markus's addiction
• The turning point came when Chelsea called police on Marcus, leading him to Teen Challenge rehabilitation
• Markus experienced complete deliverance through surrender rather than a traditional 12-step approach
• After rehabilitation, they launched Reach1 despite criticism and financial uncertainty
• Their story demonstrates that no one is too far gone for redemption and how pain can be transformed into purpose
If our story touched you, please share it with someone who might be struggling with addiction or walking alongside someone who is. Remember that sometimes the hardest decisions lead to the greatest healing.
Welcome back to the Reach One podcast. It's been a while.
Speaker 2:It's been a minute.
Speaker 1:Long time, but you know what also has been a minute 14 years of being together. And 11 years married Come on just celebrate our 11-year anniversary. 11, 10 of the greatest years of my life. I'm just kidding. All 14 have been incredible. Well, not all 14. We'll get into that a little bit later. Definitely not all 14. Yeah, well, not all 14. We'll get into that a little bit later. Definitely not all 14. Yeah, there were three of them, and that's what I think we should share about today, didn't know we would make it.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, what better way than through? Our story is so big to us, and I forget that not everybody knows what God had us walking and journeying through and how much we've learned, and so, yeah, I think we should definitely talk about that Absolutely. Why don't, oh, go ahead?
Speaker 1:But before we do that, I want to ask you a question to open up the podcast. I think this will be good. Your questions make me nervous. It's okay, you're going to be all right. If you had to be roommates with one Bible character for a year, who would it be, and why?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. I need like six days to think about the answer to this kind of question.
Speaker 1:I already know who I'd be roommates with.
Speaker 3:Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1:For sure, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, I would be roommates with Samson.
Speaker 2:Samson. Samson For what?
Speaker 1:Well, because look, check this out Nobody's ever going to run up on us. We're always protected. My dude was mad, strong, and I just think that we would be okay and I would probably try to give him a little bit of wisdom, like, hey, bro, you got to watch out for some of these. You know, some of these ladies, you know, especially ladies named Delilah. Like come on, bro.
Speaker 2:Oh, you want to change the course of history.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like the call of God, bro, like you know, you don't got to go out like a sucker, but no, I'm excited to get into today's episode, share a little bit of your backstory and how you grew up for everybody who doesn't know, absolutely so.
Speaker 1:I grew up in California. You know, my dad left before I was born. I had a mom and a stepdad. My stepdad was sick my entire life. He was on his deathbed basically. He ended up dying in 2011.
Speaker 1:And so what that did was it created this identity crisis, because I got a lot of brothers and a lot of sisters and all of us have different last names and I'm just kind of in a position where I'm just looking to be seen and accepted by somebody and the only thing that accepted me was football. But at home it was a lot of chaos, a lot of pain, a lot of brokenness. My mom went through a lot of abuse herself and so she would abuse us and I remember there would be times where we wouldn't have running water or electricity and, you know, as an inner city kid, I just had to do what I had to do to survive, and oftentimes it meant going to grocery stores and stealing food and just doing whatever I had to do to, you know, to put food on the table for our family. But football became my outlet. But I was a socially awkward kid growing up. I know some people are shocked like there's no way Marcus was awkward. No, I was.
Speaker 2:Wait, we got to put a picture up to the camera of what Marcus used to look like when he was a kid I was, tore from the floor up, Just was socially awkward, Didn't know how to have conversations with people.
Speaker 1:I was different. But on the football field it was a different story. I took out my aggression on the field and it opened a lot of doors for me. But I didn't have any type of discipline in the home. I didn't have parents that were saying, hey, are you doing your homework? I had parents saying, hey, what are we going to eat tonight? And my family was involved in a lot of gang and drug activity. So growing up it just was a chaotic environment so it wasn't like a safe space. And I didn't graduate from high school because of my grades. I had a bunch of Division I scholarships, but school for me was a challenge. I was allergic to class, Played junior college football, did really well in JUCO. Still, grades were always the thing that would hold me back. But my friend chose me to go to a school called Malone College. Had never been to Ohio before, had never seen snow, but I just knew that I was supposed to go to that school, and so I ended up calling the coach.
Speaker 1:A few weeks later, I was on a scholarship to play football at Malone College in Kenton, ohio.
Speaker 2:And thank God you were, because guess who was there? Come on.
Speaker 3:Wifey.
Speaker 1:I met this beautiful young lady. But before we get to our story, why don't you tell us a little bit about your backstory and what led you up to going to Malone?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I grew up in a super small town. All my family lived on the same block. I mean I have the best memories of childhood both my parents in the home and yeah, I mean I grew up in church. My dad got saved when I was a really, really young girl and as soon as he got saved he was like I'm called to ministry. My dad became a pastor and I just grew up in the church world.
Speaker 2:I think with that comes a lot of expectation and pressure. It's not that anybody taught me to be perfect, but that's just something that happens when you're in that world. It's just a pressure that you start to feel. You feel the eyes on you, you feel people watching you and you feel like you have to have it all together all the time. That's something that I carried into my adulthood for sure. That's probably the number one thing I've struggled with my entire life was presenting a certain way where people could look at me and say like, oh yeah, she's a Christian, so her life looks perfect. I thought those two things went hand in hand.
Speaker 1:Would you say that you're like growing up as a, as a young person who grew up in the church. Did that idea of perfectionism spill into other areas of your life? Did it spill into athletics? Did it spill into your education? How did that impact you as you were growing up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I wanted to do everything right and I believed, like if I walked with God, that my life needed to show. I guess I would have never said that it needed to be perfect, because I know scripture. I know that we're not perfect, that we are humans and we're always going to fall short, but there's still something I don't know how to pinpoint it, but there's just something about growing up in church and the pressures that you put on yourself that makes you feel like perfectionism is the way to go. You have to give your very, very best and if you don't fulfill what you set out to accomplish, then you failed. Obviously, I know better now, um, but that's just. That was the reality of of the pressure that I put on myself. Um, in athletics I was, like always the hardest worker out there.
Speaker 1:I might not have always been the best at everything, but I was very good, I'm not gonna lie. Freshman year, Didn't you? Didn't you start as a freshman in a? What sport was it?
Speaker 2:All of them. Oh she said all of them Like that, come on.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, small school it's not that big of a flex, but in academics, like I, had almost perfect GPA.
Speaker 1:You were top 100 in your class, right.
Speaker 2:Top 100. We didn't even have 100 kids in our class. Nice, I was actually number three in my class and I was devastated, like who gets number three in their class and has devastated me for sure. I was heartbroken, um, but yeah, and then, in as we got older, in relationships I always wanted to present like, oh yeah, we've got it all together because I follow God, things are good. I didn't realize that it actually benefits other people to show your vulnerabilities and weaknesses and show how God shines through that and he is our strength. It just doesn't add up. When you're young. Those are things you learn as you grow into adulthood to show your weakness and to show your vulnerability and to recognize that that's where God shines. But yeah, that was my struggle as a kid.
Speaker 1:But what's so interesting about your story and my story is we both had spiritual experiences, and neither of them were probably the healthiest. I had a spiritual experience about spiritual manipulation. I would remember being told if you don't listen, god's going to get you, and it was their way of controlling me and it was terrifying to me because I didn't understand, like man, why would God get me? I don't think that I should be doing what they're telling me to do, and so it really made me not want to go to God for anything, because the idea of a God who's so big could just crush me at any moment if I do something he doesn't like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were like scared Absolutely, instead of a healthy fear of the.
Speaker 1:Lord. It was scared. Instead of a healthy fear of the Lord, it was a grave misunderstanding of His power. So you ended up going to Malone? Yes, I went to.
Speaker 2:Malone, because a Christian school was my only option. That was my life, when you say your only option.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:I couldn't go. Well, you know, I was like, oh, big dreams. I want to go live in downtown New York City and go to college. And I remember my parents being like you need to consider a Christian school. That's really how we're going to support you in this life. And I was like, okay. So I visited a couple of Christian schools and landed at Malone. It's like an hour away from where I grew up. I had a lot of friends who were going to go there with me. So Malone it was.
Speaker 1:What was your first interaction, like you know, on campus at Malone. What were your first thoughts? I'm sure they were completely different than mine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was a sheltered. I was a sheltered girly, so I didn't go to parties. In high school I didn't do anything Like literally nothing.
Speaker 2:I was in church every night of the week doing something Worship practice, prayer meeting leadership meetings church on Wednesday church Sunday morning, church Sunday night I was in the church and if I wasn't at church I was at a sports practice or a game. So when I got to Malone it was like my first taste of freedom and I just remember getting so excited to be able to like go to Walmart and not have to check in with my parents. Like I can go to Wendy's, excited my parents, I can go to Wendy's.
Speaker 2:I can go get chicken nuggets. I don't have to answer to people but I didn't go crazy. Honestly, I could have, but I didn't. My parents, really. I mean, we're making jokes about being sheltered and whatnot, but my parents did an incredible job of raising me to know the word and I wanted to live for the Lord. I had some misunderstandings about my theology, I think, and maybe His love for me and who I had to be, but I knew who God was and there was nothing you could do to make me walk away from my relationship with the Lord.
Speaker 1:Shout out to Mama and Papa Brian for training their child up when they're young in the way that they should go, Because when they're older they won't depart from it.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:And so you and I we meet at Malone. So prior to me going to Malone I had never really had a girlfriend. Before I was just kind of on a straight and narrow road, thank God.
Speaker 1:Wish you were my only one, but I ended up meeting a girl. Only one, but I, I ended up meeting a girl. It didn't work out, and so, the summer of 2011, um, I, I did well alone get a chance to work out in front of all 32 nfl teams at the nfl combine. I can remember my, my senior year. Um, I was just tearing it up on the football field and I saw this cute little girl cute little girl, cute young woman, sorry cute young woman who's 19.
Speaker 1:Young lady, young shawty Shawty. I saw her. You know she had face pain, she had a 32.
Speaker 3:No, I didn't. No, let's be clear. I wasn't saying that was you. I had no idea who Marcus was. Okay.
Speaker 2:Can.
Speaker 1:I finish the story.
Speaker 2:Everybody. Let's just be real clear. He likes to be like know who you were, chelsea did I score touchdowns at Malone? I'm sure you did, because you were the only one who did?
Speaker 1:Did I score touchdowns at Malone?
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:Did you cheer when we scored touchdowns? For sure, you cheered for me, okay.
Speaker 2:If that's what helps you sleep at night Back to my story.
Speaker 1:So I saw this. You know, fine little thing with a 32 on her face.
Speaker 2:I've never had a 32 on my face.
Speaker 1:I understand it's been 14, 15 years. It's been a while. I'm sure your memory probably escapes you, but I remember there was actually a particular time where you were walking around with a football looking for me, I guess, looking for you. You and your friends were walking around. You guys had a flat football. You saw this handsome, muscular football player standing there and just asking to fill your football. I remember that.
Speaker 2:I do remember that you had an orange cutoff t-shirt. You know when the boys used to cut their t-shirts all the way down, the whole sleeve off, all the way down so the side would hang out.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't show these handles now, but back then, boy, I showed everything.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it was pretty hot yeah.
Speaker 1:She asked me to fill the football up and I was like, oh man, there's something different about her. So we ended up becoming friends. That summer we both broke up with our boyfriend and girlfriend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not for each other. We weren't really talking or anything yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just knew that I needed to end everything so that I can make that happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you for sure did. Yeah, I did, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:I'm like this is the woman of my dreams and so I knew that she was a pastor's kid. So and this is a true story, y'all my first time talking to her, I couldn't see her in person because I was training for the NFL down in Texas, and so I slid into her DM. I don't recommend anyone do that, but I slid into her DM. But if you're going to slide into someone's direct message, here's what you need to do. I slid into her DM because she had just broke up with her boyfriend and I just said hey, girl, I just want you to know I'm praying for you.
Speaker 2:Hook line and sinker.
Speaker 1:Embarrassingly enough, it worked 14 years later, come on somebody Girl Interestingly enough.
Speaker 2:It worked 14 years later. Come on somebody.
Speaker 1:Girlies, don't fall for it, unless he really loves the Lord.
Speaker 2:Unless he really okay, a boy can't just say I'm praying for you and you'd be like, oh my gosh, mom, he's a Christian.
Speaker 1:But I did pray, because if you pray, she will stay.
Speaker 1:And we start talking. We kind of really got to know each other over that summer. And I don't get drafted into the NFL and I'm kind of broken by that because that was a big part of my identity. Making it to the NFL to get my family out of a bad situation was everything for me and I didn't succeed in what I set out to do, even though I performed probably the best fullback statistically in the country. So I come back to Malone, still training for the NFL and you and I we start our journey together.
Speaker 2:We started hanging out and yeah, we were like inseparable, like we would hang out two, three, 4am, just kicking it, all hours of the night just hanging out, getting to know each other, like couldn't stay away from each other.
Speaker 1:What it was for me with you. It was you could hold conversation and you had a depthness to you that I hadn't seen before and you had. You really knew the Lord and I was getting to know God. But like you really had an established relationship with Jesus and I just looked up to that, I'm like man, this girl is. She's really about that life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you I mean Marcus shares a lot that he didn't really know the Lord deeply in his life, but you presented in a way that I was attracted to the God in you. You were pursuing God. We spent a bunch of our hours spent together. We're either in a prayer room together at a worship service, we'd read our Bible together. We were just always challenging each other in that way. So you were, in a great sense, really leading me as well, and in that moment I was 100% all in for Jesus. So you were, in a great sense, really leading me as well, and in that moment I was 100% all in for Jesus.
Speaker 1:It wasn't until I had encounters later on with God. I realized that there's depth to God and you can go from glory to glory. But in that moment I was all in. I was completely sold out. I would wake up in the morning and send devotionals to as many people that I knew, just praying for them.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I really wanted to please God with my life.
Speaker 1:Part of it was because I had a worker mentality and I wanted to produce, because sports put me in a position to produce.
Speaker 1:But being in a relationship with you, I just really wanted it to be the real thing, and so we pursued the Lord together and I signed my first professional contract playing in the AFL, and I remember, right before I leave for my second stint with the San Antonio towns, this is December of 2013. At this point I just knew and like I say this to anybody that might listen to this podcast fellas, when you find a good one, don't let anything come between you and the one that you're called to be with, especially if it's stupid friends that don't fully understand what it means to commit or be in a relationship. And the friends that I had at that time, honestly they didn't know what they were talking about and it was an environment that was pretty unhealthy to be a part of. And I had friends that wanted me to be quote unquote all in for Jesus but didn't understand that, really didn't understand relationships in general, and they would try to give me relationship advice but they weren't in relationships and so Well, they were trying just be super honest.
Speaker 2:We were in a community of believers around us that believed at the time that being in relationships weren't healthy and, in order to be all in for Jesus, that you needed to cut off all your personal relationships, so like the only thing you'd have was a friendship in the Lord, but you couldn't be dating somebody and be all in for Jesus. We were the only couple.
Speaker 2:We were the only couple in our friend group. There were so many toxic things about it. We would show up and they would start preaching against relationships, obviously ostracizing us and making us feel crazy. We're like, wait a minute, are we bad for each other? Relationships are a blessing from the Lord. For sure, there's nothing unbiblical about a relationship where you're pursuing God together. For sure, if anything, I was getting closer to the Lord and being challenged to grow because of you.
Speaker 1:And you gave me an ultimatum. Honestly I remember, because these friends, they weren't really friends. Let's just call it what it was, and you gave me an ultimatum. You're like I'm just done with that group, either it's me or them. And I said, say less.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did. I typically would not be a fan of giving people ultimatums, but honestly, at the end of the day, when something isn't aligning with your future and you know that it's not aligning with your future and it's causing discord and disunity, a stick up for yourself and you say this is what I need in order to move forward. I think there's a fear of being put in some box like, oh, she's the kind of girl that gives ultimatums. That's a strength, in my opinion. To be strong, to know what your boundary is, to know what direction you're moving in for your future. That's a strength in a woman. So you stand up for what you want. You lay an ultimatum out if you need one.
Speaker 1:And not only having the ability to say it, but the ability to follow through. Yeah, because you weren't just talking, you were really about that life.
Speaker 2:No, I said we need to get in healthy community that supports us, that loves us and that believes it, that god can do big things in our marriage and our relationship together. And if we can't, if you can't do that for the sake of our relationship, then it's over. And we broke up for like two days and you were like no, I'm kidding you came back and you're like you were right. Right, you're right. We need to find healthy community and people who love and support us, and this was not it.
Speaker 1:Well, you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I wasn't going to let anything take that away from me. And if it meant letting go of a friend group that didn't understand where I was going or who I was called to be with, then it was an easy decision and so I ended up. I remember I was working a job. I was working a couple different jobs and I wanted to save up because, listen, engagement rings aren't cheap, and so at the time, I wanted to save up, so I would work, you know, sometimes 18 24 hour shifts, just to save up, and I had this elaborate plan of how I was. Um, I wanted to propose. You know, hindsight is 2020 would probably do it differently now, but I remember getting down on a knee asking you to be my wife, and I went to the. You know, in north canton there was this big xl shirt xl store, and I remember I bought this red shirt first time. I didn't care about fashion at the time no, you didn't.
Speaker 1:I dressed like a bum, but I remember buying this bright red shirt. I don't know why I bought a red shirt but I bought a bright red shirt. And I don't know why I bought a red shirt but I bought a bright red shirt and I said I'm going to ask her to be my wife and she said yes. And then, like literally a couple of weeks later, I ended up moving down to Texas to play ball, and as I'm playing ball in the arena football league for the San Antonio Talons, my dreams were coming true and getting paid to play the game that I love. San Antonio didn't have an NFL team, so we were the NFL team for San Antonio. You and I were preparing for our wedding. Everything is literally was going according to plan, but I saw something in myself that I'm not afraid to admit today. But those guys on those teams, they wanted it.
Speaker 1:They really wanted it and I wanted it, but I don't know if I wanted it quite like them.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Where they were willing to set you up and injure you off the field in order to get your position.
Speaker 1:That's how bad they wanted it, and I just was trying to figure out what God wanted me to do with my life. And in 2014, I get a chance to work out for some NFL teams and I'm just having a workout of my life, and in this workout it was going the best that it could, but I workout, just it was going. It was going the best that it could, but I ended up blowing up my shoulder and I got injured. And this is the first time where I didn't know what else to do because through that injury, my career got taken away and I'm on injury reserve. So I'm getting paid still to to be on injury reserve. And I had never, you know, taken drugs before, and so this is the first time I was prescribed pain medication after because you had to have surgery on that shoulder. I had never taken drugs before, and so this is the first time I was prescribed pain medication Because you had to have surgery on that shoulder.
Speaker 1:I had to put my rotator cuff to my labrum, my career was over and so, as I'm taking the medication, it was the first time I could take something that made me feel good about myself and I didn't understand the weight of drugs. But I remember when I got injured, everybody in the locker room was asking me for the drugs. They're like, hey, can I get one, can I get one? I was like, I don't care here, take one, take one, take one. I was passing them out. I didn't understand that you shouldn't do that, but I um, we get married.
Speaker 2:wedding is awesome, um you're literally still recovering from your shoulder surgery at our wedding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like surgery, scars are still healing like at our wedding day.
Speaker 2:our photographer was like mar Marcus, pick Chelsea up and swing her around and you're like I literally cannot. And I was like trying to jump on your shoulder. I was so heartbroken that we couldn't get like this one picture I wanted. But that's just. He was literally. He had surgery and was still recovering on our wedding day, Legit, and the day after our wedding in Ohio, we packed up a trailer and we moved to Texas to be closer to your football team, in hopes that you were still going to be able to recover and potentially play football again one day. So we were kind of isolated, in a sense that we left all of our friends and family back home in Ohio and started a brand new life in Texas.
Speaker 1:Talk about that for a second the significance of going through college. You went through college, you graduated and the first thing you do is you move away from home and start a life. You had to be a big girl Like you had to grow up like. Talk about the significance of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, my parents raised me positive. They gave me, like, the foundations of life. This is how you, this is how you do life. This is how you grow up and become a big girl. Like, unless I was in a sport, I had to work a job. Um, I've been working since I was fresh out of high school. Yeah, I worked at Deb Anybody remember a store called Deb? Because that was the best place on the planet. If you were a teenage girl, rip, that was my favorite place ever. But anyways, I worked a job.
Speaker 2:I knew that that's just part of growing up. I also know that you're going to take risks, you're going to step out, you're going to try new things, and sometimes it might not be forever, but that's okay. You tried new things and I had a partner in it, so I was excited. I knew that once I got married like I'm going to move away, I'm going to start my own family, I'm going to do my own thing. Um, and I was excited about it. It didn't mean it wasn't difficult. You know to transition and to process, like not having your mom and your sister.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you didn't get a job right away. You had to, yeah, you had to figure out what. What was life going to? You're looking for a nursing job and it took you months to find a job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you move, you know Malone University has a great nursing program In Ohio. It really has a great reputation. But picking that degree and then moving all the way to Texas where they have like UT and Dallas and all these schools down there, somebody looks at my resume and is like what's Malone University? How do I know if that's a good nursing degree? So I had a lot to prove moving down there, but I just put my nose to it and applied for like 20 jobs a day until I found the right one, and so we're playing.
Speaker 1:you know we're living in Texas, things are going great, but I'm still struggling silently. And when did you know that my addiction was starting?
Speaker 2:So you always told me, just enough to keep me like in the loop to where, okay, we're married, we're partners in this, but enough to cover your tracks and me ever being able to get upset with you or hold you to the fire, like I couldn't hold you to any standard because it was like you were being honest enough with me. So I remember it was probably like a few months after we got married and I saw your pill bottle, which you were still having regular rehabilitation hours, which is like going in and having therapy, stretching out your shoulder, doing exercises. You need pain medication for that. That's a regular part of healthcare. Like, hey, take your pain medication before your therapy session and then take one after and then we'll just help you get through your weeks of rehabilitation. So, being a nurse, I know that right. So I'm not questioning that you have pill bottles here. Like you're going to take those, I know that you need those. Like you're gonna take those, I know that you need those.
Speaker 2:Um, so yeah, I didn't really question anything and honestly, you acted completely normal. I think there was a reasonable amount of sadness that I saw you experiencing because your football career, like our whole time relationship, the whole time we were dating you were pursuing the NFL um, and there that you did. There was a high likelihood that you were going to do that. So I knew you were sad, but it wasn't visible to me that you were broken. Do you know what I mean? Like there was a sadness, but you seemed fine. You didn't talk about it much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was living isolated. I was living in an isolated state where I just didn't know how to communicate something I had never experienced.
Speaker 1:And I'd had moments in my life that were hard, and I had gone through loss and a certain degree of suffering, but I had never gone through what I was walking through, and so I didn't know how to talk about it. The only thing I knew to do were to take the medication, because it gave me this high which numbed the pain, which made me forget about how I felt like a failure.
Speaker 2:And unfortunately, you had doctors who would just give it to you whenever you wanted. So that's obviously a huge part of the story and things that people don't always understand. Like well, how were you able to get addicted? Well, for whatever reason, in professional sports, doctors do whatever football players want, so all you had to do was go in and say I need more, even though it's clearly you shouldn't be out yet, and they just fed them to you. That's just a reality of professional sports that nobody talks about. It's disgusting, but it's a reality.
Speaker 1:Fentanyl patch, instant release oxycodone and extended release morphine. I was on all three powerful narcotics at the same time. That's illegal.
Speaker 1:It's against the law to do that and you can't mix because obviously you can overdose to die. But there was a glimmer of hope, because what I wanted to be more than anything in the midst of my addiction is I wanted to be a dad and I could just remember. My drug addiction got so bad. It got to the point where I would take our money and I would start buying drugs off the streets and I didn't care anymore, because whenever I couldn't get it from my doctor because I just got a script, I would go to another doctor and then, when I couldn't get any more, I took our money and I would buy it off the streets.
Speaker 2:I got mixed in with the cartel and just different things in Texas that you don't want to get mixed in with, and I had no idea of any of this because from the time we got married, he was making way more money than me from football, injured reserve. They were paying you. Well, you're making money, you're covering the bills, you're the one who got our lease, like all of these things, so everything was in his hands. I had no reason not to trust you so I didn't know anything. I did have a job at this point. I was working as a full-time nurse, making great money in texas, and had no clue that we just were running out of money all the time because you were spending it on drugs because I was a good manipulator and I was a good liar and I knew how to hide.
Speaker 1:I I knew how to shield tell you just enough to appease you, but also keep enough hidden so that I can essentially do what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you told me you were struggling, it was like, hey, I've been on these medications for a long time. I really need to talk to my doctor about getting off, because I'm feeling myself growing tolerant to it and I'm like, well, yeah, that's normal, you've been on it for a while, you're still taking it for rehab, so I get it. Let's just tell your doctor, and you would go to a doctor's appointment. You'd be like, yeah, I told him, he's lowering my doses, we're going to wean off, it's totally fine. And I just had no reason to question that because you weren't Crazy. Yeah, it's a wild thing to think about. And then, like you said, we got pregnant with Avery.
Speaker 1:So when you got pregnant with Avery, I knew, because I knew that I was an addict. When there was a time I went to a CBS by our house and I had just went to another drugstore a couple of days before. So they checked their like system and they said, hey, man, well, you just got a script filled a couple of days ago and I would get 90 day scripts, like I would get a lot of medication. And I remember they had the bottle full of pills and he put it on the counter and I had this thought to myself because I ran out of pills already.
Speaker 2:I'm going to snatch these pills and run because they said, hey, you can't, I can't actually give you this, because you just filled something and you were like, oh my gosh, I could, I could take this. That's wild.
Speaker 1:I had the thought I am about to snatch these pills and run.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Then it hit me. I went to the parking lot and I just began to weep because I realized that I was an addict. And it just like hit me full circle that I would do something so crazy to get high, and I remember I called my doctor and I said hey, I'm addicted. And you know what they did they dropped me as a patient.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:When I admitted that I needed help, they dropped me as a patient and they could have just walked you through recovery.
Speaker 2:They could have walked you through weaning off the medication, giving you support, but they're not going to get any money doing that with you.
Speaker 1:And so now I'm like scrambling, I'm struggling. I had never experienced withdrawals because for a couple of years I was high every single day, and so now my body's going through physical withdrawal, the psychological depression from not playing in the NFL. All these things are coming at me at once, and so the only thing I knew was hey, I'm going to keep using our money, to keep getting high, because I'm not about to go through this.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to feel this pain and I'm not going to go through these physical symptoms. I'm not going to have the sweats.
Speaker 2:It's not happening and so and it was like a perfect storm, honestly, for me to not notice any of these things, because I got pregnant with Avery and I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, which is extreme nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, and mine wasn't a typical case. It's already very rare to get that bad. Women talk about morning sickness all the time Like, oh, we're all sick. This is not regular sickness we're talking about. I was in the hospital for the majority of my pregnancy and when I wasn't in the hospital, I was in bed with a home health nurse by my bed taking care of me. I was absolutely useless of a human, barely keeping myself alive.
Speaker 2:It's a miracle that Avery was like a full-term baby with her health intact, because hyperemesis is not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. We're talking about vomiting, not being able to keep water down, vomiting 30 plus times a day, to the point where you're not even throwing anything up, it's just blood. You're just busting blood vessels and, not to get graphic, but people don't know how serious it is. Um, I was a part of a a hyperemesis support group and people often were talking about either their options to terminate their pregnancy because they were psychologically not surviving and there was high risk of birth defects and their babies not being fed the nutrients that they need to keep growing. And there was one woman who her mother came on on her behalf, who took her own life because she was in such misery. So it's a really, really terrible disease.
Speaker 2:Um, that's super rare and people don't know the extent of it, but it's a miracle that I and my baby survived those seasons. But I share all of that to explain. That's why I had no clue the extent of your addiction during that season. That was you at your worst and it was me at my worst and we were like almost living two separate lives. You weren't able to be there for me. I wasn't there for you. I didn't know what you were walking through, I couldn't even speak, I wasn't talking, we weren't sharing, we weren't even sharing a bed, couldn't be in the same room. If I smelled your cologne, if I smelled your bath soap, I would go throw up. It was a quite traumatic season for me as well as for you, and we were doing it alone.
Speaker 1:And the way you said it, it was the perfect storm. But I knew there was something in me that said we need to leave this situation, because I'm not going to make it much longer, because the people that I was getting involved in there were many times where I was set up to be robbed and by the grace of God, it never happened, just crazy things and and so I wanted to be a dad. I said, well, let's go back to Ohio, let's get around your family I had a good job, the village network.
Speaker 2:Let's go figure this life out, figure out what this life looked like outside of football and I didn't want to move back to Ohio, though, like I had the best job in Houston, I was so happy. They were like my family and it again it was cause I had no idea the extent like, why do you want to move back to Ohio? Um, and then it was the day that I had Avery. Um, it's crazy Hyperemesis literally disappears from your body the second you give birth to your child. So I delivered Avery. You were there and then I remember you looking at me and being like, hey, I'm going to go home and clean the house. You know my parents were coming into town and, um, but I'll be back really soon and I didn't really question it. It was like, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:But you were gone for like eight or nine hours and it was like the veil was removed from my eyes and the Lord was speaking to me. I could see everything clearly and all these things that you had told me over the last year and a half of our marriage just started adding up. I was putting the pieces together. I'm like, wait a minute, who leaves the hospital? The day their baby was delivered? For eight hours? It wasn't adding up and I was like, wait a minute. The drugs, the addiction, where's our money at? Why has he been stressed about money? All of this stuff started adding up and I was like, wait a minute, I think he's severely addicted to these drugs. And I just saw everything clearly. So the second we had her, we got out of the hospital. I was like, yeah, in full agreement, let's move back to Ohio.
Speaker 1:We let's move back to Ohio. We need help. Yeah, so we moved back. Man, I wish I could say the story gets better there, but it actually gets way worse. So we moved back. But I don't have team doctors now, because up to that moment I could still get medication on a regular schedule from my doctors. Well, in Ohio I don't have those same doctors and I had money. So I would take the money and I would start buying drugs off the streets. And then I realized, well, I'm running out of money, I need to go find another way. So I would go to as many hospitals as I could find and I don't know what came over me because I didn't do this in Texas, but in Ohio I went to 38 different doctors for 59 prescriptions in five months.
Speaker 1:Just desperate to get drugs. I would dislocate my shoulder on command, go into the emergency room and say, hey, I'm in bad pain. Like you know, I played football. I was a former professional athlete. I would just give them the story, I would lure them in and they would believe me. And I wouldn't go in there looking like an addict. I would make sure that I was clean and put together, which is just a whole other level of manipulation.
Speaker 2:But that's the first time that I saw you coming home high as well, too. Like again, I could just see everything clearly and all of a sudden I noticed that you were high and it's probably part of motherhood too, right. You're just that much more cognizant of who's carrying your baby and who's taking care of your child. Because I was like you're not holding Avery like that, like you can barely keep your head up. It was insane how it felt, like in Texas, I never noticed, and then in Ohio, I know it got worse for you, but it was just a completely different human. You were physically high in front of me every single day and I was going insane. I had no clue how to handle this.
Speaker 1:Because we're living with your family at this point, because we can't afford to play shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were waiting for my job to start. I did get transferred to a great hospital and I had a great job waiting for me, but it hadn't started yet. So we were living with my family for a couple months and I was like hiding you, I was trying to get him to always go back in the bedroom, like I can tell you're high. Like this is not okay. And I was trying to make sense of it. All that perfectionism came back up and I was like, well, we can't let anybody know. We're supposed to be this Christian couple who fought for all the right things, who fought for this relationship, who said God was doing big things with our lives, and now you're a drug addict. What is this? How is this my life? And I wasn't ready to tell anybody that. Like, that comes with a lot of shame, it comes with a lot of embarrassment, should it no? But that's the reality of the world we live in. I can't tell people that my husband's struggling with drug addiction. Like I'm a leader. Like what is this?
Speaker 1:You know, it was such a strange thing to battle with and at the same time, in my mind it's like man, you're a failed professional athlete. You had overcome so much in your life and you're becoming everything. Everybody said that you were yeah and I. I didn't know how to get out of that space because I didn't want to be an addict. It wasn't my dream or goal, and yet I fell into it because I was over prescribed. But then there came a point where I would make decisions to do things I know were wrong.
Speaker 1:But, my addiction led me to doing them.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I didn't know what else to do. I felt trapped. I felt like no one would fully understand what I was walking through, that if I were to be honest with what was going on, then people would leave me, they would abandon me.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And to the point where we ended up having to leave your sister's house because I came home high.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they found out what was going on and it was really terrible for our relationship at the time. Thank God he's reconciled our relationship now but fully kicked you out of the house. It's emotional and they had said like you don't have to leave Chelsea, but he has to leave, but I wasn't in the position to leave you yet. And that's what I think a lot of people don't talk about in addiction and people who are in relationships with people in addiction Like you have to come to that place like the end of your rope before you intervene. That person has to feel like they've done everything they can and it's not right. You can't just turn your back on somebody in addiction. You have to walk them through as much as you can, but to the point where you're not enabling them.
Speaker 2:And I had to figure out where that place was on my own accord. So I went with you, we moved into an apartment, I started working my job and it just got to the point where I couldn't leave for work every day, knowing I was leaving Avery at home with you, not knowing what was going on. There were several times where I would track you and see that you were at pharmacies, you were at hospitals with Avery and honestly I still I mean it's God's hand on Avery's life that she never was taken by CBS.
Speaker 3:I cry still talking about it, because it was such a real thing I remember every day what those emotions felt like.
Speaker 2:But it is truly a miracle that a high person walking around with a baby asking for drugs never got that child. You've gotten pulled over before, you've gotten investigated before and the fact that Avery was never taken is a miracle. And I just couldn't. I couldn't handle it anymore. There was a couple of times I tried to leave, when you would leave the house for a little bit. There was one time I was like I'm packing my stuff up, I'm leaving, I've, I've had enough. I we had confronted you about it.
Speaker 2:Like there were a couple people that we tried to pull in um a couple pastors that were friends of ours that we tried to pull in and be honest with and we were either met with like a lot of confusion and hate, or we were, or Marcus just wasn't ready to face the facts. So there was a little bit of both.
Speaker 1:It was so hard and challenging for me because I knew that I needed help. I knew that I messed up, but I did not know how to overcome it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And life without those drugs addiction is so strong because life without the drugs it didn't feel like life to me it felt like death, and so the only thing I wanted to do was continue. The thing that made me feel good, because I had control of my life. I was in control. I was in control of the narrative.
Speaker 2:I it took away the pain it took away the pain the hurt deep. You were lost.
Speaker 1:Like deep, deep-rooted pain.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That it went past football For sure. We're talking about stuff from when I was born and growing up in an environment where I felt like I was never fully accepted or loved and it would take those things away.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you mustered up the courage to do something, and I'd love for you to talk about it, like what led up to the day of June 16, 2017?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I said, there was a day where I said I knew I've done everything I can. I knew at that point, like there were times before where people were like you need to leave, you need to leave, and I was like, no, I haven't done everything I can. At that point I knew I had done everything I could. My daughter wasn't safe. I wasn't safe. You were a different person when you were high. Those days, like you started mixing your medications, like it truly is a miracle that you didn't overdose, that you didn't have a straight up heart attack.
Speaker 1:The amount of medications that you were taking, there were times where I would take 50 Percocet in one day.
Speaker 2:It's insane. And there was one day where I tried to leave. I was packing stuff up in the car and, thank God, you came home in the middle of it, of me packing up my trunk, and you were so high that you couldn't even like you weren't cognizant enough to recognize what was going on. And I just gave you some. You're like, what are you doing? And I said, oh, I was just taking some stuff over to a friend's house that we don't need anymore. And you just went inside and fell asleep and I was like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:But I remember like that was the scariest day of my life because you were a different person. I was scared of you when you were high, like God only knew what your reactions would be. There were plenty of times before that you had said you'll never take Avery from me, when I had said you need to get your life together. This isn't going to be what our family is, and so I was scared to death and I realized then that I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own, like I really needed help if I was going to leave and leave safely and not have some crazy scenario happen that I needed help. So I went to our friend's house who knew what was going on. They were some people that we had told we were honest about everything that was going on too. I called them and I said I need help getting out. And so right after work one day I went straight to their house and they said let's call the police because you had warrants out for your arrest.
Speaker 1:Like the police knew what you were doing, yeah, so I had warrants, because I went to all those different doctors and I got three phony warrants.
Speaker 2:Yep, it raised red flags with the hospital systems and they were like, oh, this guy is— We've got to get this guy, yeah. So I called the police, told them that I was your wife, I know where you were at and that I wanted to get my daughter out safely. And they're like, let's do it. So three cop cars rolled up and they said follow us, we'll get your daughter for you and you can get your stuff and leave and we'll take Marcus away.
Speaker 2:And honestly, at that point I was so fed up with the life that I had that I didn't sign up for the things that I had put into our marriage and really tried to make this work and tried to get you healthy.
Speaker 2:But just knowing you weren't there yet, you didn't want it yet and I can't want it for you, um, I did everything in my power, but you hadn't done everything in your power, um, and we were not on the same page. So I, it was the hardest day of my life, um, but it was also the most relief that I had felt in years. But it was also the most relief that I had felt in years. So I pulled up behind the police. I saw you out on the porch. They got Avery from you and you can tell your experience of that. But as soon as they gave her to me, I went inside, I locked the doors and I started packing up all our stuff, and I've never felt better about the direction of my future than in that moment, because I knew I made the right decision, for if I was hopeful for any change to happen, that that was the right thing that I had needed to do.
Speaker 1:I just remember seeing, seeing you in the police and I'm still high, you know I threw up in the sink, I remember, cause I took too much medication. I remember them taking Avery from me and I didn't fully understand the weight of what was going to happen. But I remember, like it was like the first moment I I came face to face, that I I really messed up cause I saw how broken you were and how you were crying and I remember giving you Avery. And then they took me away to jail for the first time and I sat in the cell and I'm high because I popped some pills before I left, because I knew I was going to jail. So I said, well, I'm going to go to jail high. And I sat inside of this cell and in my mind I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't fully understand the weight of what was happening. Until I get released on bond, I go home and everything's gone. Then it hits me, then I just want to escape there. There's.
Speaker 1:There was nothing else for me to do in that moment except try to leave this world. And, like I said, she said I was an unsafe person. I would walk around looking for Chelsea, trying to find her. I was so mad that she left me. She took my daughter and I could not find her anywhere. She would not return any of my calls. She wouldn't pick up. I even threatened to go to her job in Cleveland. I said I'll find you.
Speaker 1:You know, just was a crazy, unsafe lunatic and you know, it wasn't until one FaceTime phone call that everything changes for me. But I didn't. I didn't want to live and so I would call her and I would call her and she wouldn't pick up. And so my first father's day I spent by myself, and I just remember walking around Canton. Because I don't have a car, I got 10 bucks. None of the doctors in the area will see me. I can't, can't, because I don't have a car. I got 10 bucks. None of the doctors in the area will see me. I can't buy drugs. I don't have any money. And I was just going through crazy withdrawals.
Speaker 2:And on my first Father's, Day he finally picked up for one five-minute FaceTime phone call. And it was the Lord that told me to pick up that phone call because you had legit called me hundreds and hundreds of times over the course of that weekend and I was like, absolutely not, this was my boundary, I'm not doing this anymore and there's no way you got help that quick. So I know you like you were going to battle this out as long as you could and for whatever reason on that Sunday. Obviously it's the Lord knowing that you wanted to take your life that day. But I picked up. I didn't put my face on the screen but I was like you can look at your daughter, and so I put it in front of Avery's face.
Speaker 1:And as I looked at Avery, I just I saw the future. I saw if I got my life together, with what I could have. But I remember my friend at the time told me says, marcus, this is you're going to have to show people and it's not going to be a quick thing, it's going to be a long time. You got to walk this thing out and I told Avery, I said I'm going to do whatever I have to do to be in your life Because I was becoming the dad. I was becoming like my dad. He was absent in my life and I was becoming absent in hers.
Speaker 1:And so I checked myself into this rehabilitation facility called Teen Challenge. It was like one of the scariest things I'd ever done. I had never been to rehab and I didn't understand the weight of that decision because I didn't know it was a year-long program, I didn't know it was a faith-based program and I'm in the program and I didn't realize I couldn't talk to you. I could only talk to you for 15 minutes a week and so that was already torture. I couldn't see you guys. I'm in a facility with a bunch of addicts who are struggling and overcoming a variety of addictions and I'm going through withdrawals Like it was literally hell for me. I did not want to be there, but if I wanted something I never had, I had to do something I'd never done. And so I'm in the program and I'm just kind of trying to figure it out. So four days in is our first family day. So the way that it worked out is every month there was these things called family days, where the family could come up for a few hours and visit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had received a phone call from the friend who told you about Teen Challenge and he called me and he said just so you know, I got Marcus checked into Teen Challenge. So he's in rehab, you're safe. I could come out of hiding. I was hiding in a friend's basement for like a week so I moved back into our apartment and there was no chance I was going to this family day like four days later. But he told me, this guy told me he said this is really beneficial for the guys to see their family and know that like they have something to work towards. So if there's any chance you would consider coming. I know you don't want to talk to him yet. If there's any chance you can consider coming. Like it will be really beneficial for them for you guys to come.
Speaker 2:And I just drug my, I did not want to come, but if they said it's good for them to see their kids, then I was like I'll do it. So I obviously want you to be healthy, but I didn't have a lot of hope for our marriage. Like I'm a nurse, right. So I was trained and studied on addiction. I knew that even if somebody gets sober, that the chance of them. Relapsing is over 90% Like. It's just not. It's not a reality in a life that I wanted, and so it was a hard thing for me, but I showed up with Avery that day.
Speaker 1:You showed up On family day I'm four days in y'all and I was like I'm healed. Chelsea, the Lord delivered me.
Speaker 2:I knew that was going to happen. I actually I tried to leave.
Speaker 1:I put all my clothes in the trash bag and you know, I went outside right when I saw Chelsea and I snatched the keys from her. I'm like, all right, we're going home. And I will never, to this day, forget how strong you were that day. You looked at me and you said you can go home, but you're not going home with me.
Speaker 2:Y'all, it hit me. I'm like'm, like, oh, I'm about to be in this program for a year, a whole year.
Speaker 1:You ain't coming home with me, buddy I don't know where you're going.
Speaker 2:A year of my life. It was like the strength of the lord, though, like I'm telling you, like you females, you are stronger than you know. Yes, you are. All you need to do is put a boundary out there, believe in it, know that it's the right thing and stand by it don't let him manipulate you.
Speaker 1:Don't let him do what he normally does, cause I tried. I tried every trick that worked years prior. I tried them all and none of them worked. You were a completely different person and you stood your ground. And as as you stood your ground, I realized I was going to be there for a year. So I said I'm going to be here, I'm about to lock in. I'm going to lock in, I'm going to give it my all because, god, I'm not here because I want to get off drugs. I'm here because I need a new life. I don't even know who I am. I'm struggling with my identity in you. I don't know what I'm good at, I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this world. And so they would talk about Jesus, how you are, then change me. And boy oh boy, it was a wild ride. Like a wild ride.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anytime he would call me. Like he said, once a week he could call me Anytime. You picked up the phone and called me. First of all, I didn't usually want to be on the phone yet. His process was I'm with Jesus 24-7. I'm going to therapy. You had a therapist there. He was able to get to the root of his traumas. He was doing all this healing work. But I'm at home traumatized by what just happened in our marriage and I'm working a full-time job and raising a newborn baby. I was stressed and I didn't have a lot of time to process. So my process with the Lord to find healing and forgiveness and all this stuff was much, much slower than yours. Everybody thinks that like well, the Lord delivered you and it happened overnight and then they were good. It's like no, this was a long process of healing and a long journey to get to this place in our marriage.
Speaker 1:Six times. So I'm in the program and I'm just kind of reading my Bible all the time, and Bible study I mean the word of God transformed the way I saw myself and I had these pivotal moments in the program and I'll share two of them. One was when I read Ephesians 1.6 for the first time and I still was striving and trying to build things and do things for God, because I had tried to do that before. But it wasn't until I read Ephesians 1.6 where it says to the. It wasn't until I read Ephesians 1, 6, where it says To the praise of the glory of His grace, for which I've made you accepted in the Beloved. At that moment it was a realization. It was a revelation that I was loved and accepted by God, that he saw me. It wasn't about what I could do for Him, it wasn't about how effective I could be in ministry. It was that he loved me for who I was and he wrote me a letter.
Speaker 1:I would write these letters to people in the program and I got two letters back. A lot of people just wouldn't write me back, which understandably so. I wasn't the best person to write back. But you wrote me a letter and I remember you gave me a scripture and at the end of the letter it said Marcus God loves you for who you are, not who you try to be. To the letter, it said Marcus God loves you for who you are, not who you try to be.
Speaker 1:Man, that pierced me and I realized I was really good at putting on the front for so many people and I was effective and I could fool people enough to keep them just far enough away, and when I read that I'm like, oh, I need to lock in with Jesus. Read that scripture. Everything in my life completely transformed in a moment. It was like I realized wait a minute, are you kidding me? I'm 29 and God loves me. He's for me. He doesn't love my sin. He loves me, he is for me, and he was calling me into a relationship with him that I had never experienced, and so I was all in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were having radical encounters with Jesus. And I'm at home just fighting off all the voices in my head, all the voices of people around me telling me how to handle this. I had half the world telling me oh, just divorce him. He broke your vows. He's not the husband that he vowed to be. You have every right to walk away from him. And, honestly, part of me wanted to do that and part of me expected that that was going to be the reality for our marriage. And then I had this other group of people, you know like, screaming in my ear like God hates divorce, don't you dare leave your husband, and they had no idea the harm that you had caused.
Speaker 2:So I was just juggling all this stuff and I remember the Lord telling me one night, just to be still um is, I felt an extreme amount of pressure to make a decision about what I was going to do.
Speaker 2:Like I needed to decide now, I needed to go get a lawyer, I needed to do this and this and this, and I had this checklist of things everybody was telling me to do. And all of a sudden I just had this piece that I don't have to make this decision right now, like I can wait and see what the Lord does, like there's no pressure to make a decision anymore and I just felt a freedom to wait on Him and progressively, over several, several, several months, I was like, okay, I can pick up the phone call. Like eventually, I was like I'm actually interested in what he did this week, I'm actually interested in what the Lord's been telling him and there was just like a love opening up in my heart and it's funny I share often when I talk about our story. That the world tells us to, oh, it makes me cry, gosh, darn it. But the world tells us to love until we've been hurt. And I felt God told me to love you as if I had never been hurt.
Speaker 3:And that's like that takes God to do that. We can't do that in our own power and our own flesh and our own strength. Like it takes the Lord and the Holy Spirit walking with you to be able to do that, and I feel like he was allowing me to do that because everything in me wanted to end our relationship.
Speaker 2:But over time and with my surrender of control of the narrative and letting go of caring about the perception that everybody had of our marriage and our relationship.
Speaker 3:The Lord healed my heart and I really was able to love you, as if you had never hurt me.
Speaker 1:I just remember I would call you. It would be the highlight of my week because I had no touch with the outside world. And I would call you and oftentimes it would be you explaining to me how much I hurt you and how I messed your life up and forced you to being a single mom. But then, as the months would go by, they started to get better and then I would get a chance to go home. At the six-month mark, I got a chance to go home for three days At the nine-month mark three days and then I can't remember it's been so long, but I think I get to go home for one more three day at the end. And I just remember coming home and I had these profound moments with Jesus where I realized why I wasn't Him.
Speaker 1:And then I found Luke 15. And I remember when I called you after this. But Luke 15 says Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near Him to hear Him. Luke 15 says and when he is found he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. When he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep, which was lost. I say to you likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 just persons who need no repentance.
Speaker 1:I'm in rehab and I read this story and it was a profound encounter with God, where everyone leaves the room and it was just me and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And as I'm by myself, I hear the voice of God speak to my heart. He says, marcus, you were the lost sheep. I left the 99 for Never make ministry about numbers. Every single person has infinite value. I've given you the ministry of reconciliation. He said go and win my children. Then I heard REACH, one that stands for reconciling every abandoned child home.
Speaker 1:The lowest moment of my life in rehab, and yet God spoke to me. But God will always tell us who we are before he tells us what to do. He called me beloved. He called me, accepted. It wasn't about what I could do for him, but then he said go and win my children, because I began to learn how to live from a place of identity and sonship with God.
Speaker 1:Every single day in rehab I say it was the best year of my life. Every day I was intentional, I would wake up and I would seek the face of Jesus. I would seek his presence and what he wanted me to do. And if there were ways that I needed to die that day I would look forward to dying. All the way to the point where Holy Spirit said plead guilty to my felonies, I knew that God was with me.
Speaker 1:I was like you know what, god? If I'm going to be a person of integrity, it means pleading guilty and admitting I made these mistakes. And I stood in front of a judge in court, guilty as can be, and I said judge, listen, we can just end all the court proceedings now. I want you to know that I did it. That judge looks at me with tears in her eyes and she completely dropped all the charges and told me to go back to Teen Challenge. So I had to experience God's powerful redemption and His love and His forgiveness and His mercy. And I just knew that if I'm going to be in this program, I'm going to give all of me, not just some of me. I'm not going to do the bare minimum, I'm going to be all in.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. We have this experience. For you was like, and for me that whole year, that we were separated and doing life on our own, like the thing that we were most scared of, like facing the consequence of telling people we're dealing with addiction and what is going to happen to our life.
Speaker 3:When we finally did like what the enemy meant for evil, God used that year for both of us to be the best year of our lives, the year we both figured out our strength, the strength that we had in the Lord, the year that we both figured out our deep rooted identity, getting over trauma, really finding out who we are in the Lord and what God has for us.
Speaker 2:Like that year was pivotal to both of our lives.
Speaker 1:Pivotal, I ended up graduating the program. It's the first thing I've ever graduated from in my life. Come on somebody. And I remember, you know, the whole family being there and my graduation day was the second greatest day of my life was. One was when I realized I was loved by God. Two was when I met you and asked you to be my wife. And three was when I graduated from rehab. It was a glorious celebration and I remember my 18 month old little girl, avery, running up to me and we come home and we start this life together and I don't really know like what God wants me to do. All I know is.
Speaker 1:I'm so happy not to be on drugs Like I found joy in the most mundane things like being able to go to a gas station, being able to just do normal things.
Speaker 2:Get your daughter dressed in the morning.
Speaker 2:You were so excited to wake up every day and pick out an outfit for Avery that was so matchy-matchy in the goofiest way but it brought you so much joy. You would send me a picture every morning when she woke up of how you dressed Avery that day. And honestly, it's so crazy because the whole year that you were in rehab I was like I don't know if he's going to be able to move home. He's going to be on drugs forever. Like I don't know how I'll ever be able to live with this guy again. And literally the second you came home, I had zero concerns for leaving Avery at home alone with you, for what you were going to be doing with your time. I was working full-time as a nurse still, and I had no concerns because of the way the Lord completely delivered, you, radically delivered. You were a completely different person, no questions asked. This wasn't a typical recovery story. This was not like Marcus is working on his sobriety one day at a time. No, screw that. Marcus was delivered from drugs, a completely new creation in Christ.
Speaker 1:Completely new. He transformed me. And I always say I didn't need 12 steps, I needed one step called surrender, and I realized that I didn't need 12 steps. I needed one step called surrender, and I realized that I couldn't fix me. But I surrendered my life to the one who could. And boy oh boy, did he transform the way that I even saw myself and saw other people.
Speaker 1:All throughout the program there would be these encounters where I would have to come face to face with like either it's bad theology or pain or trauma from my past, but I didn't have to face it alone. It was the first time in my life I realized I didn't have to face it alone. I could face it with Jesus and I was able to overcome it by His power, by His strength. That's why the Bible says not by might nor by power, but by His strength, says the Lord, and I come home and I I hadn't thought about using drugs since June 16th, since the day you left.
Speaker 1:And that's the work of the Holy Spirit. It's not the work of Marcus, it's not the work of the program. It's the work of who I met in the program and his name is Jesus. So if you're listening to this and you're struggling right now with addiction. I'm ready to tell you that no one's too far gone. No one is too far gone, and if you're listening to this and you maybe are married to or in relationship with somebody that is struggling with addiction, you're strong enough to hold your ground, because that might be the very thing that God uses to save their life.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I can confidently say had you not done what you did, I would not be here today. Yeah, say had you not done what you did, I would not be here today.
Speaker 1:I would either be in jail or I would be dead in a no, because you decided to put your foot down and stand for something, and it transformed the trajectory of my life, the trajectory of your life, the trajectory of our ministry. And so I'm home and we're just living life. We're doing life. I'm working, you know, I'm a part-time youth pastor. I'm a volunteer janitor. I'm working at, you know, United Way. I'm just you know, working.
Speaker 2:Putting your nose to the ground because that was my expectations. By the way, I was like you. Coming home, you're going to work, You're going to do all the things that you never did before.
Speaker 1:And shout out to Papa White Side, my spiritual father, for coming to see me when I was in the program and he walking with us through this journey. He told me when I graduated son, you're going to have to go home and earn the right to be dad, earn the right to be husband. He's like, don't you try to puff up your chest and say this is mine.
Speaker 1:No, you go there and you serve your family and she'll willingly give you those keys. And you did that and I remember I'm working at United Way and in this moment of our ministry, nothing had ever started.
Speaker 2:We were just living life, yeah, and we were happy, we were good, we just had dreams of God using it, because our story isn't wasted and we know that and that God was going to use it one day, but we weren't working towards anything. It was fully like we're going to wait on the Lord and whenever His timing rolls around, we're ready.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. At this moment I get a call from the principal that wanted me to do a school assembly and hadn't done those before, and I knew that this was the moment that I was to start Reach One and I called my job. I said, hey, on this Friday I want to go do this assembly, I want to start this organization called Reach One. They looked at me and they said you cannot do that. If you do that, you can't work here Because I was helping raise funds for this organization and they didn't want me to use my mouthpiece and gifts anywhere else except for them. And it was one of those crossroad moments and I remember being so terrified to call Chelsea and tell her. But I just felt strongly that I was supposed to start Reach One through the school assembly and I called you and I want you to talk about your response.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm a naturally risk averse person. Like we don't take risks, we don't do things that don't make sense. Like, if this doesn't make sense, we're not doing it. That's just how I'm wired and, for whatever reason, you know, obviously I know why now but all of that was stripped away and I had the most faith that, no, this is what God was doing. It's time Go ahead. It doesn't make sense because we're talking about, like we're healing our family. We want to have another baby because we want some, a beautiful child who's going to be raised in a loving home, to be born A healthy experience. This time, you know, we're talking about growing our family. I'm still working as a full-time nurse and you're like out of rehab and you're like I think I need to quit my job and I'm like, well, all signs for addicts would say that this is like a terrible red flag For sure.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't a concern. You quit your job Like that's a sure-tell sign that you're going to either relapse, you're going to die. That's just the reality.
Speaker 2:Exactly, this is a step in the wrong direction and I just felt all the peace in the world that, nope, this is the Lord opening a door for us to be obedient and it's a risk and it doesn't make sense, but we're supposed to do it. So I was like go, babe, you go share our story and give kids hope that, no matter what they've walked through, that there is hope for their life and they can start over at any moment and reclaim what God has for them. So I was fully supportive.
Speaker 1:Once I got that green light, I didn't need anything else. I knew that it was go time, so I quit that job. We start Reach One. I didn't know what I was doing. I got on stage for an hour and just screamed how much kids mattered and how God loved them.
Speaker 2:But God used it.
Speaker 1:He used it. I still got clips from that first message, but God really used it and he breathed on it. I used it. I still got clips from that first uh, from that first message. But God really used it and he breathed on it. And it was about being faithful. When the door opened and it wasn't like reach one just took off from there, I still I had to find other jobs to make sure I could provide for our family and, but I just stayed focused on what God, what he called us to do, even in the midst of hate and in the midst of scrutiny from other people and ridicule and people making fun of us for thinking that we could travel. I was told that I would never be able to travel and speak.
Speaker 2:We would walk into rooms and people would be like, oh, here's Reach.
Speaker 3:One here's Reach One Ooh.
Speaker 2:Like just totally making fun of, like the dream that God put on our hearts. Like, honestly, the innocence and purity of us just wanting to share what God did on our hearts. Like that honestly, the innocence and purity of us just wanting to share what God did in our lives and for people to make fun of it was devastating.
Speaker 1:And I didn't understand why people who were Christian, who said they loved us, who were for us, would do those kinds of things. I just didn't understand that. It didn't make sense to me. But I knew one thing I'm not going to let anybody determine from what God said.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you weren't going to get us to be disobedient to what God was saying. We're like okay, well, I guess the whole world can hate us and misunderstand our intentions and not know our hearts, but I don't care, because every single time we shared our story somewhere and somebody's life was touched and they made a different decision, there's nothing you could do to make us stop doing that, to see God use our story and know that everything we went through was not for nothing.
Speaker 1:None of it was wasted. All the moments of when I would drive around not wanting to be here anymore, when I would lie, when I would be sitting inside of a hospital bed knowing that I'm making a mistake none of that was wasted with Jesus and it's been an insane journey.
Speaker 2:We'll talk more about where reach one is now, you know, in the future, because that's not our story. Like you know, God is using it and he's I mean. We've spoken to hundreds of thousands of students, shared our story at this point, thousands of salvations, like we couldn't be more grateful. But at the end of the day, our story is how God plucked our marriage out of the mess, and now he uses it for his glory.
Speaker 1:We can confidently say all of our lives are for his glory, everything, everything we do. We ended up having another kid, dakota. Shout out to Dakota Sophia and Avery Grace, our two beautiful little girls that are on fire for the Lord. But God redeemed our marriage. God redeemed our family and, more than being ministry people, we get to be a loving family that raises our kids in the ways of God and provide them a healthy environment to ask questions and to grow. And people ask me all the time like are you living your best life? Yes, every single day, because I get to wake up and see my beautiful wife smiling, not afraid of me.
Speaker 1:I get to see my daughters growing up into their own unique personalities and I get to wake up and say this all the time it's time to give hell a hard time Because, like you just said earlier, what the devil meant for evil, god is turning and using for good. And we'll take on the scrutiny, we'll take on the hate, we'll take on the people misunderstanding our intentions, because if souls are being saved, if people are coming to know Jesus through our story, through the ministry that God has birthed through us, then I say it's all worth it, it's all worth it, amen.
Speaker 3:Amen.
Speaker 1:Amen. Well, that ends this episode of the Reach One Podcast. Thank you guys. So much for listening. Please like subscribe. Wherever you listen to podcasts, we're there. Stay tuned for more incredible interviews coming up and keep giving hell a hard time, See ya.
